Life is a finicky character , it can be the greatest thing that delivers so much joy and in an instance it can be completely devastating  causing more grief  than your heart can bear. Everyday we get up and we do not know what dress life will be wearing today.  The day that Wayne died was the worst day of my life to that point - I remember thinking , how will I go on without him, my life will never again be the same and what do I do next.  Every day since that day has been a challenge, you finally have to figure out who you because it is now just you.  It's you going to bed alone and getting up alone , it's you in that house alone and you making all the decisions. There are all kinds of voices telling you what you need to do and how you need to feel.  I learned quickly to find a quiet spot and listen to one voice. Have I done every thing right.. no I have not, but at least I have done something. i am still working on moving ahead one day at a time . Some days I am great and some days I can't get away from the grief.  Today is a tough day, tomorrow will be better, it's time for a dress change.